Coaching for 21st Century Teens

Coaching for 21^st Century Teens

Christina Young, M.Ed

Teen and Tween Coach

21^st century teens navigate a uniquely challenging world.  Teens face the ever increasing pressures of academic achievement, the widespread impact and influence of media, and social networks that stream 24-7. These pressures contribute to high levels of teen anxiety, depression, and burn-out. They can make it even more challenging to learn how to implement effective accommodations for learning differences and ADHD. 

Having literal and figurative space to feel quiet and grounded is essential for higher level thinking that is reflective, creative, and productive.  Yet, 21^st century teens experience the many important transitions from middle school through college amidst the constant chatter of academic and social competition.  21^st century teens have had access to mobile technology their entire lives. At its best, that technology provides access to global information and ideas.  At its worst, it reinforces every negative thought and fear.

Teens strive for independence at the same time that they are faced with increased academic, social, and emotional demands.  That means parents with the best of intentions often have a hard time connecting with their teen when it may be most needed.  Working with a personal coach allows for objective, supportive feedback that holds teens accountable for their actions. If frequent fights over scheduling and completing tasks disrupt your home, working with a coach can help both your teen and your parent-teen relationship. 

Just as an athletic coach helps teens develop the physical and mental fitness to compete at their optimal performance, a personal coach helps teens develop the self-awareness, confidence, and self-esteem to set and achieve meaningful goals, internalize organization and motivation, and make healthy personal and social decisions.

As a teen coach, I work to provide the space to discuss the challenges teens face, create an action plan, and increase communication within the family. In the absence of such a space, teens often turn to peers or the media to inform their decisions.

Parents can empower their teens and strengthen their parent-teen relationship by thoughtfully engaging in coaching conversations at home using the following tips:

• Share your concerns with your teen without assumptions or judgment.  Ask you teen how they  cope with the challenges they faces every day.
• Empathize with the pressure your teen faces.  Remain clear about your expectations regarding personal and social decisions without judging peers who have made decisions you believe are unhealthy and/or unsafe.  Ask your teen how they could respond to those pressures in a healthy/safe way.
• Listen to your teen. Give them the space to talk through a challenge and potential actions without giving unsolicited advice. Instead of evaluating their proposed actions, ask, “How do you think that will go?”
• Try again. These conversations are challenging and require thoughtful reflection from both parent and teen.  Focus on short, intentional conversations and follow up another time.